Arthur's Small Town Country Massacre

53-year-old Arthur is a serial killer known as the Swindon Ripper, who likes to punish uncivilised behaviour. At a late-night party in the woods, he kills a group of teenagers who are taking drugs and having sex. In the morning, he heads to the hospital to say goodbye to his dying mother – who believes his murders are a public service. Arthur is devastated and goes to a local pub to drown his sorrows. He spots Annie – a pretty middle-aged woman, who has been stood up by her date. She sees the pain he's in and comforts him. After they realise they have a connection, Arthur asks her out for dinner and before long they're married and Arthur has retired from murdering people. 16 years later, Arthur is almost 70 and struggles with poor eyesight, incontinence, and the other problems that come with later life. He lives in a secluded cottage with Annie in a little town called Grimley Bottom. He runs a hardware shop and sometimes plays golf with Teddy, the shopkeeper next door who is becoming increasingly flirty with Annie. Along with Teddy's advances on his wife, Arthur is plagued by gangs of youths who talk back to him, aggressive drivers who steal his parking spot, privileged businessmen who drink and drive, postmen who throw his packages at the door, and a new hardware superstore which threatens to put him out of business. All this uncivilised behaviour threatens to resurface his old habits. Annie's grandson Tommy – a rebellious 16-year-old – is suspended from school and his parents don't want him home alone during the day, so they decide to send him to live with Annie and Arthur for a few weeks. Tommy's presence only serves to frustrate Arthur further, but when Arthur spots Tommy's horrifically violent and very graphic sketches, he senses a kindred spirit. Arthur agrees to drop Tommy in town where he can meet Teddy's 16-year-old daughter Zoe, who is recently separated from the school bully Billy and keen to have some fun with Tommy. Soon after Tommy’s arrival, Arthur finds Annie is involved in a car crash late one night. Arthur is suspicious that Annie was on her way to see Teddy – why else would she be out so late? – but more importantly he is convinced that Annie was driven off the road by the utterly despicable local drunk driver in his Rolls Royce. For Arthur, this is the final straw – he’s coming out of retirement. Arthur goes on a murderous rampage and finds that he’s not the man he used to be. The deft stabbings and expert axe swings are now hampered by incontinence, flatulence, a bad back, poor eyesight and false teeth. First up is the driver he suspects caused Annie’s accident, and then one by one Arthur’s long list of scores is settled. But Tommy becomes suspicious at what’s going on in his grandfather’s cellar and when he finally gets inside, he’s horrified. Before he can call the police, Arthur drugs him and ties him up. He tries to coerce Tommy into killing Billy the school bully, who Tommy certainly has cause to hate. But Tommy can’t do it and he makes a run for it. At the local police station he tells the dim-witted police sergeant everything. The police are skeptical but decide to investigate nonetheless. But Arthur has cleared the cellar of all incriminating evidence and Tommy looks like a delusional teenager. When the police apologise to Arthur, he shows them Billy’s bag of drugs, which he says he found in Tommy’s room, along with Tommy’s violent drawings. The police now understand why Tommy is making up these stories and arrest him. When Arthur next visits Annie at the hospital he overhears a conversation between her and Teddy, agreeing to meet up. This is confirmation of Annie’s affair and intent on revenge, he goes to Teddy’s house to kidnap Zoe. Unbeknownst to Arthur, Annie and Teddy have been discussing Arthur’s surprise 70th birthday. Tommy is picked up from the police station by his furious parents, who don’t believe a word of his story. Tommy notices the missed calls from Zoe on his phone and rings her. She tells him Arthur is at her house. Before he can warn her, his mum confiscates his phone. Tommy jumps out of the car at the traffic lights and runs to Zoe’s house... but it’s too late. She’s gone. Tommy desperately rescues Zoe from the cellar but Arthur pursues them across the town, butchering anyone who gets in his way...