The Walking Dealbreaker
A socially-clueless 20-something dairy cattle breeder learns that her remaining years of fertility
are limited and sets out to find the perfect man through online dating.
When you’re a single woman with hopes of starting a family some day, what’s the worst career you can have:
Truck driver? Nah. Sure, it might be tiring and unglamorous. But look at the silver lining. At least you travel… a lot.
Accountant? Now that’s uber boring. But it means your household finances will be forever balanced to the finest point.
Then there’s… A-I Tech. “Artificial intelligence”, like ChatGPT? Cool!
Hold your horses… or is that cows? Because in this context, AI stands for “Artificial Insemination”. Impregnating dairy cows is Annabeth’s day gig. And man, it’s gross.
As Adrienne Thorne’s The Walking Dealbreaker opens, Annabelle’s hard at work, doing what she does best. Or at least often:
Sticking her arm up a dairy cow, and clearing out manure in preparation to insert you-can-guess-what nearby. (Let that be a lesson, gentle readers – dairy farms aren’t quite the utopia cartoon characters on milk cartons would have one believe. Poor “Bessie” goes through some bizarre things…)
Nor is Annabelle exactly rolling in bliss.
Especially after sister Robin interrupts with unwelcome news: according to the docs, Robin’s going through menopause at 32. That’s a family trait which may be genetic. For Robin – who’s already popped out Kid Three – that’s honestly a relief. But for Annabelle, the clock’s ticking. Which means…
It’s time to pull out those dating apps and get to work. ‘Cause HER biological window of opportunity’s running out.
Annabelle’s attractive. She’s a winner there. But still: how to sell a man on the life-partner appeal of any chick who does… well, THAT?!?
As her dating ordeals commence, Annabelle quickly finds such a pitch is much easier said than done. A string of disaster dates ensue, each with their own label for the “Meet Cute”.
The one where I describe the smell of cow shit: On her first foray, Annabelle soon discovers that explaining why the stench of cow poop isn’t so intolerable isn’t a topic one should raise. Especially over a gourmet meal.
The one where I didn’t shower first: Over the years, Annabelle’s grown accustomed to barn yard smells. But her fashion forward date hasn’t. And what’s that mystery smudge on her face?!? Talk about a turn-off!
Then there’s Mr. Cute (aka Jordan). He loves animals, so that’s a plus… one would hope? But after Annabelle explains the fuzzy critters she hangs out with don’t resemble Lassie and moo, Jordan’s response is… dramatic to say the least.
Will Annabelle EVER find true love? Or should she just tear a page from her own career book, find a willing male donor, a sturdy human-sized syringe, and go to town?
Packed with good natured witty banter, The Walking Dealbreaker is a warm and genuine slice of life short. Maybe Annabelle will find her true match - or not. But directors: if you dig dramedy with a heart, this short film is very likely THE match for you!