Exorcised
A priest tries to successfully exorcise a young woman who doesn't want to let her demon go.
The Exorcist. The Conjuring. The Exorcism of Emily Rose.
When it comes to horror sub-genres, exorcism’s such a well trod, brimstone path. After a gallon of pea soup’s been projectile-hosed across the screen, innocent young women contorted and covered with bizarre marks of “demonic infestation”, and prop crucifixes shoved - well, you know where – what more could any exorcism tale bring to the table? Or rather, to their sick bed?
You’d think The Last Exorcism would be… uh, the “Last”? That’s what “last” means… Rite? (No misspelling there – purgatory pun intended, peeps.)
You won’t, after you read Divyansh Kulshrestha’s little horror/comedy gem, “Exorcised.”
Because with due respect to Linda Blair’s Regan, Father Karras – and all the characters who have followed in their hallowed steps, there’s ONE literally-burning question other exorcist films fail to raise:
What if the possessed human WANTS things to stay just as they are?
Such is Father Scott’s shocking discovery, after traveling to the bed of poor, pretty little Ellie. Strapped down and suffering from a massive case of bed-head, a drugged Ellie struggles to wake up. Smiling down at her, Father Scott clutches his exorcism kit and does what he can to calm her nerves:
Ellie tries to get up, but she is bound by restraining straps. Desperate, she notices them and begs from him:
ELLIE
I am sorry, Father.
I let the devil in. It's all my fault.
FATHER SCOTT
It's okay. I'd like to help you.
Are you ready to begin?
Ellie looks at him with her cute and innocent face, her lips pursed. Her voice as sweet as possible.
ELLIE
Could you please remove these?
She nods towards the clutches binding her hands.
FATHER SCOTT
No. We have to start.
And start they do – until the Demon makes its presence fully known, with a rather surprising plea…
DEMON
O priest, please yeet me out of
this little bitch of a woman!
As Father Scott gapes, Ellie responds with a back and forth metaphysical “inner dialogue” which reveals some rather sinister twists:
ELLIE
No, Father. He's my only friend.
DEMON
For a reason.
Ellie shouts.
ELLIE
Why? Why leave now?
Father, you can't let him leave.
DEMON
Please, Father Scott. Get me out of
the bowels of this woman.
Well, that IS an exorcist’s job. So Father Scott whips out his trusty cross, and gets to work.
But Ellie ain’t having it.
Ellie's body literally bounces on the bed twice.
FATHER SCOTT
Leave your host at once. Or else,
you'll have to face the wrath of the Lord.
ELLIE
No he can't. We had an agreement
when he entered my body.
DEMON
Verbal contracts don't count!
Her head tosses back and forth.
ELLIE
They do when you are a demon.
Right, Father. Doesn't God believe in being honest
and truthful to your word?
Thus does poor Father Scott discover the victim in this hellish predicament isn’t Ellie. No, Ellie’s kidnapped her new “BFF”, and intends to hold him in her fleshly “clutches”, come Hell or Holy Water:
ELLIE
I won't let Woody leave me, ever.
I'll kill anyone who tries to take him away from me.
DEMON
For God's sake woman, Woodalar is my name.
I am a famed demon of high heritage. Do not call me Woody!
ELLIE
It's a cute name for a cute devil.
DEMON
I torture little birds with needles.
How can you call that cute?
Well, Ellie’s not a saint. As she spills the beans on her sadistic personality quirks, it becomes ever more obvious that next to her, poor Woodalar’s a novice. Hell - the frustrated Demon begs - would be a Carnival Cruise compared to sharing body parts with her!
And that’s definitely not a situation covered in the Exorcist syllabus. Faced with such an infernal dilemma, what’s a priest to do? Will Father Scott save the day – or the demon? Read Exorcised, and find out!
And if horror or comedy’s your directing focus, here’s a few sacred words to take to heart: Single location. Just two characters. Ellie may be Hell for Woody. But you’ll find Heaven at festivals, if you possess (via option) this chuckle filled horror short yourself!