Wed, 2025-Jan-08 08:52 (GMT)
Hi, everyone. Currently working on a concept for a coming-of-age story that has an epic twist to it. I would appreciate any and all feedback greatly!
Nicholaas, a daring teenager, goes on a journey with his blind nephew to find his lost uncle and comes face to face with a dangerous world stripped of its natural beauty.
I like it, especially the peril of one of them being blind and, of course, the emotion of trying to find/save a family member. My only issue is that the world itself is ambiguously described.
Do you mean the contrast between "dangerous world" and "natural beauty". That it suggests it's always been dangerous, only now stripped of it's natural beauty instead of the natural beauty being replaced by the danger?
I just don't know what "a dangerous world stripped of its natural beauty" really means. I'm not sure what I should be picturing.
Shawn,
I'm here with the same question as CJ. I am all for saving an uncle and want to "see" how a blind kid can navigate the dangers, but clarifying the danger/beauty would go a long way to hooking me in.
thanks for sharing,
doug